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December. Won't you look at that? The final month of the year has arrived and we're halfway through. Wow this year has been one of stretch and new experiences. A lot of learning how to adult, learning to stand up for myself when I need to and also to learn to absorb a hit on some occasion. I've been think one year ago what I was doing? Enjoying life in Korea, definitely. I won't lie if I say I miss the snow and that traveling time, and looking at others travel makes me envious too. But I know my time will come soon. In 2016, I will be 21. Honestly I am feeling quite meh about this whole thing. Everyone is making TWENTY-FIRST such an important thing but I feel that it is just like any other birthdays. Several weeks ago my mum repeatedly asked me what do I want to do for 21st? I honestly have no idea. All I know is that I don't want to have a party. I want to meet my friends, but I'll want to meet them personally in small groups or individually. Just the other day I was walking past some hotels along Marina Bay and looking at all the fanciful restaurant and it suddenly hit me that MAYBE I don't want a fanciful meal to celebrate my birthday. (this was the initial plan I told my mum) I feel that a meal is so short-lived. In approximately 8 hours later, I'll be hungry again and whatever food I've eaten is gone. In fact, I'd rather do something that has lasts. For example, another tattoo or to finally go for some calligraphy lessons. And definitely I would not mind traveling overseas to places with clear waters and sandy beach or to Aussie (again) or even to Europe. Whatever that's gonna happen, who knows? Back to 2015. The year is coming to an end and I can't be busier. Preparing for parent-teacher conference, and the classroom for 2016. I'm allocated to take the 2 and 3 year olds. My first thought was "oh sian.." because honestly I liked the older classes better. Younger children are more tiring and you need to be a SUPER CAREFUL and CONSCIOUS person... which I'm not. At work, if I talk to someone and that person is overly-worried/conscious/anxious, I would be rolling my eyes on the inside. I'm figured for now that I'm the kind of teacher that lets the children go wild and scream all they like, but when I'm strict, I am super strict. I'm still learning lots of tips and tricks from the older teachers, but being young has got it's own set of pros too. But the main reason why I don't want to take the 2 and 3 year olds is because the class will be big and I don't think I am capable enough to handle children of such young age without assistance. I mean basically that's how this whole year feel like.. Being thrown into a sea and I have to learn to swim on my own. I've probably spent 2x as much time as the others did on a normal thing and endless "this one cannot, do again". It's pretty demoralizing and heartbreaking sometimes but I try my best. This year with the 4 year olds was fun. I'm glad they grew up and I watched it happened. They are my first form class and I think I'll remember them forever. 2015 has also been a year of traveling. Not as much as 2014 (if I'm not wrong I traveled like 4 or 5 times last year) but it is still good. This year I conquered little parts of Australia - Perth and Sydney. I love that place, I will definitely conquer Melbourne and Gold Coast and Adelaide. But that's for the future. The current me thank God for this year of learning and learning, of falling down and picking myself up, of stretching and stretching. This year I went back to dance regularly too, and I even performed. Made some good friends that I wish to keep :) It has been a year of "I want to do this and I want to do it now, if nobody does it with me then so be it, I'll do it on my own" and I overcame it by watching a movie alone, and learning to do things alone. My mum thinks that I'm a loner but doing things alone is fun too. Learnt to make peace with who I am. Needless to say, 2015 has also been a year of MAJOR fangirling. I'm pretty much remembered thanks to my instagram/twitter name @fearlessmango. From Daphne (whom I pretty much consider her my friend now) to The Sam Willows and a few other local artists. I've been opened up to the world of local music and I love it still. I pray that 2016 will be a year of not only surviving but thriving. God has a plan for me and I know it, and whatever that happens, let it be according to His plan. I pray that I'll make wise decisions too and be less harsh (and probably less impromptu). I need more patience with the little ones too. I'm confessing that 2016 will be a year of thriving, breakthroughs and hardships. yes you read that right. More adventure awaits for me, I know. God has a greater and better plan for me ahead. |