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There are so many things in life that requires balance, and I think that I’m not the person that’s the best at this thing. There are so many things that I find myself to always be struggling with, trying to balance out. It is one of the hardest thing to do, when you think about it. Even time management is about balance too, diet is about balance, almost everything is related to balance. I believe that these are common things that people think about and struggle with, I don’t know if you will agree with me, but continue reading to find out! ;)
Disclaimer: These are my personal views on different subjects, if you think I’ve offended you then I’m sorry. If you don’t agree with my way of thinking, then I’m open to discussion!
Being selfish VS thinking for others
This often comes in a form of guilt. I think especially being a Christian, it is further emphasized that we have to be less of ourselves and more of others. There are (many) times in the day where I will always think to myself: maybe I shouldn’t do this, I’m being too selfish… I probably can afford to do more for others. Or sometimes, guilt start to set in when I’m doing things for myself like things that I do are no longer other people centered but self-centered.
I’ve experienced breakdowns when doing too much for the sake of others, and make me feel like I never receive anything at all. But whenever I start to think about it, I feel bad that things are always about me. I can never balance out between giving myself to others too much.. and when it is time to be selfish every now and then. It FEELS like whenever I am not thinking about others, I am selfish.
Looking pretty VS looking simple
i think that this is a pretty common thing especially being a girl. The way you dress tell a lot about you. And honestly, most of the time, I don’t fancy looking pretty and putting on makeup. My favorite way to dress is really shorts and a nice top with sneakers. Done. I mean of course I have my pretty days where I put on makeup, wears dress and all. But most of the time.. no. Most of the time, looking pretty probably also mean giving up being comfortable because most of the time, I feel uncomfortable wearing contact lenses, my eyes are simply too dry. So here’s the hard thing: Looking simple, YET pretty! Feel comfortable and yet always camera-ready.
Grace VS discipline
Now this is something that all parents, leaders and teachers struggle with. At the beginning, I’m honestly someone that really give grace like it is free flow. But through time, I learn that discipline is important especially with the little ones.
Sharing VS keeping to yourself
Now, i don't want to seem like someone that blabbers on and on about myself and what is happening to me and then again, i don’t want to always be keeping what i really feel and think to myself either. I guess this is the reason why I have a blog. People who care enough to read, then good for them. If they don’t then probably they will not be able to know how I am thinking.
Naturally, I’m a person that would share quite a lot. But I guess experience and time and age got me to be more self conscious and share lesser and lesser. To the extent that I don’t share what i really feel with anyone anymore because i don’t see a point in it. I don’t want to share to others and end up me not knowing anything about other people at all. I don’t like this. I feel like all my friendships till date is all one-sided, I just keep sharing and sharing so many personal things and I realize that people don’t share with me. I feel like a failure. I feel like I am not someone that can be trusted, sometimes I don’t even trust myself.
I think these are just a few conflicts, probably some are common, and some only applies to me. Whatever it is, these are my personal views and I appreciate that you took time to read them. :)
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