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One Love. When I first started teaching, I never thought things MIGHT end up being emotional. Typically because I am not an emotional person and not one that cries easily. Being a teacher for my 2 and 3 year olds this year is definitely a tough one. Physically, emotionally and mentally. There are days I would go home and not want to do anything but lay down on my bed. I would sleep and wake up still feeling as though that past 9 hours of sleep didn't existed at all. One Love. The only thing that kept me going were the children. They were the ones that made me extremely tired and sick of everything, they were also the ones that made me go to work. In my 3 year old class, I have a special needs boy. For most of the time this year, he was not speaking. All he did was scream, shout, and make sounds. To add on to that, he was also hyperactive and would try to do all sorts of funny stunts in class. Got a cupboard? He'll climb on top of it. Got window grills? He'll climb too. Got tables? Climb. Got shelves? Climb. As the form teacher, it was my responsibility to make sure that he doesn't fall and also that the other children in class does not learn from him. Oh, I forgot to mention, if there's a basket of toys. He'll pour. Just imagine going into NTUC and you bought all your stuff in the basket and you left it on the floor and someone comes over and flip the whole basket over and everything comes out. He does not do that to one toy, but ALL the toys. One Love. It was hard. Physically - chasing after him, carrying him down if he climbs. Ensuring that he doesn't try to get out of my class and go destroy the other class. When I'm doing my craft work, I need to make sure he does not come to the table and simply SWIPE away all the materials. Don't get me started on my learning corner activities that I've made for the children and my theme board which I painstakingly printed, laminated and pasted everything on my own. I remember one incident where it was emotionally too straining on me that I broke down and cried at work. I really did. For a girl like me that cries less than 5 times a year, this one is pretty surprising. A boy in my class made me cry. SAY WHAT? Almost every other day, I would pat him to sleep. When I do, I would often be asking God "how? how do I love him more? how do I love my class more?" It just feels like whatever I do is wasted because it gets destroyed. And honestly, it is very discouraging and it seems like I can't be that 'ideal teacher' that I pictured myself to become. After a series of events which I shall not mention, the school had no choice but to ask the boy to leave. On my side, it is a good news! Definitely. No more chasing one extra boy, no more tearing down my theme board, no more destroying my learning corner activities. I finally am able to manage my class better. I'm more than thankful about his departure. Thinking back, this whole series of events taught me one thing - One Love. The past few months, it was pretty obvious that the boy is slightly more attached to me than the other teachers. I mean, I'm the one with him most of the time when he's in school. And somehow or rather, I feel a little sad at his departure. Just ONE day before his departure, I finally heard him spoke a complete sentence without prompting, you have no idea how happy and proud I was of him. I went around telling another 3 to 4 more teacher about his accomplishment the next 5 minutes. It was pure joy to hear him speak a sentence. Having this special needs boy in my class really taught me to love, even when things gets rough. I don't know how I made it but I really thank God for His grace throughout this whole period. This love definitely isn't easy because you see no fruits at the end of the day. So, to the boy that made me cry, made me scream, made me chase after you, made me laugh, made me furious, made me disappointed, made me tired, made me not feel like going to work, made me feel lousy, made me lose my temper, you made me. You made me become stronger, you taught me to love better and love more than ever before. You taught me to be determined, you taught me resilience. I'm going to be a better teacher in small or big ways because of you. You've made a difference to me by being special. You are special and I love you. |