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Did you ever...
Did you ever have the feeling when.. even though you have so many friends sometimes you just feel alone suddenly? Or maybe those people aren't your friends at all. You just feel alone because there is nobody that you can pour your hearts out to or simply find a day to chill and have some heart to heart talk to? That's exactly how I felt. I was being totally off-guard yesterday to my bud on the way home from fellowship, we were just chatting on iMessage and I totally told her every single thing I'm envy of.. about her. It takes a huge courage to say that eh? I mean, sure you say it here and there, but you don't exactly tell people STRAIGHT in the face that "okay these are the things I'm jealous of about you.. *lists*". First time I ever did this. I don't know if it is the right thing to do, but I just said it. Since it was our #2013confessiontime. And good thing, I mean we didn't confess about who we like or whatever, but we confessed about other stuff. Obviously I'll not say what we talked about cause I don't think I should, but still the main point is that we confessed.  She told me that I have loads of friends. True, I know a lot of people. I do. But those that I really know about them and what is happening in their lives now? Almost none. Too many, too many times I know people that I can have a decent conversation with for some good while and even laugh out loud with them, but when it comes to the matter of the heart, NOPE. It's kind of a personal barrier I can't get across. |