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Knowing Jiamei. As if people don't know me well enough, I'm going to share the following with whoever that is reading this. I got this during lesson, it was part of the many activity sheets that were given to us. This is something that I love to do and I think I want to share it with everyone. Okay, so basically, my lecturer gave our class this self-mentoring 'form' for us to fill us. It contains many questions that really make you think and reflect about yourself and your life. To me, the space that were given on that piece of paper were too.. little. So I think maybe I should type it here and since my teacher didn't give me enough space she'll get the summarized version of whatever I typed over here. Also, I tried hard not to write too much religious things in the answers, but yeah I still wrote some of them anyway. Here it goes!  There are 16 questions. 1) What is really important to you? What do you value most? To me, I think my friends and family are the most important. The people around me are important to me. They have always been so encouraging and help me when I feel down or anything. I feel that relationships are VERY important, in fact. The thing that I value most would be my time alone. I mean in this world that we're living in nowadays, people seldom get time alone and don't know how to be alone. Many people are paranoid when they are alone (Of course I do feel like that sometimes especially when walking home alone at night, but that's different context!) or they do not know how to relax. Actually, besides the outgoing me, I love being alone most of the time. I feel... peaceful when I do it. Another thing that I really value the most is new experiences. Like the very first impression of a certain place, country or whatever. I love to go out there and explore places I've never been before. 2) What special talents make you unique? I think the answer is what most people expect. I can play the guitar and piano and I learnt them myself. I think that is unique enough. Other than that I don't think I have much of talents.. Hahaha! 3) What qualities do you admire most in others? I admire people's ability to just listen to people without interrupting or saying anything. I think this is something that I really need to learn, to just stop to listen and to hold back my comments/views about the problem or topic. Being me, I'm the kind of person that over-share. Sometimes the conversation is supposed to be about the other person and end up I do most of the talking. Secondly, I also admire people for their sensitivity. (Not the overly-sensitive annoying kind of sensitive, but just being conscious) I don't think that I'm a sensitive person, if you know me personally. Probably because sometimes I get too caught up in the moment to realize that I MIGHT have insulted others or hurt others. But anyway, yeah. I admire people who's always so sensitive. 4) How do you define personal success? When have you felt most successful? Being successful to me is when I am able to handle work, family and leisure evenly. I think that when you are able to handle all these at the same time, I am basically able to control my life and what happens around me. If I'm able to do that, then I think I'm successful already. Then again, this success isn't permanent. I can have it for one moment and the next moment it is all gone. I think that I feel most successful is when I have a breakthrough in relationship with the people around me. Relationships are hard to build, at least for me. So being able to bring my relationship with someone I know (especially for those that I know for a long time) to another level, it is quite something, isn't it? 5) How have you used your knowledge, skill, and special talents to make a difference in the world? I don't think that alone, I am able to make a difference in the world but I know that I can make a difference to the people around me. The people meant the world to me so if I make a difference to them, it also means that I made a difference at least in my world. I think that I would like to use my outgoing personality to make a difference in the lives of the people around me and encourage them, or like little actions to make a difference in their day, I mean who knows if the person is feeling so unimportant and then you just randomly text a good morning and that made someone's day? You never know right? :) Besides that, I also want to use my love for children to work in the childcare. I think the children are about the most important people in the society because they are the future leaders, the young people are the future generation of leaders, as an early childhood teacher, I want to make a difference in their childhood that they will remember for life. Who knows if that one child is going to be the future prime minister or president of Singapore or be a world changer in one way or another? You never will know. 6) When have you felt most alive, energized, and excited about work? When have you felt most depleted and discouraged about work? Okay, to say things clearly, this 'work' here is assuming that I work in a childcare. When children learnt something new from me, I think that is when I will feel most encouraged. It is similar to my previous answer. I know I have made a LITTLE difference in their lives because they learnt something from me. And when I know that I've made a difference, I feel encouraged to want to do more. However, I think that I will feel discouraged when the children don't listen to me or don't respect me. I think this not only goes to the children, it basically applies to my friends too. Whenever I feel that I don't get the respect I should get, I feel discouraged and frustrated. Oh, and also when parents complain, I will feel discouraged too. When parents are able to complain, it also means that I am not doing my job well enough. In this case, I would mostly go into a state of deep regrets and self-blame. (Knowing myself, I think that is what I'll do) 7) Is there something you have always longed to do but never quite had the courage to? Okay, this thing I'm going to share will be something very personal. It came as a vision to me on this particular day when I was praying at a service or a youth meeting. I want to use my skill in guitar to bless the people at homes (be it childrens' home or old folks' home.. etc) with just a performance. Just to make them feel better and enlighten their day. :) I wish that I can go around sharing my testimony too. Another thing I want to do? Perform in front of a large crowd. I know I kind of danced in church and also performed in NDP already and that is really considered a large crowd but I want to play guitar and sing. That kind of performance. I don't want to go up the stage as a dancer. 8) How do you handle adversity? Are you quick to blame others when things do not go well or do you take ownership for the outcome of your decisions and actions? For me, depending how bad the adversity is, I guess.. Most of the time I am not the kind that will dwell in negative things for too long so yeah, I kind of get over them quickly. But most of the time if the result is the consequence of my own action then I will be quick to accept whatever that has happened. And more often than not, like what I've said above, I will go into self-blame if things really are bad. I don't think I'm the kind that blame others, but instead I would blame the environment I lived in.. blah blah. Whichever that applies to the situation, I don't blame people. I mean, adversities are speaces for you to learn and grow right? So just get over it and start again! No point dwelling in it. What's past is the past. 9) When do you feel most at peace? I feel most at peace when it is quiet around me. I'm not a big fan of loud sound or noisy places. Also, I feel most at peace when I'm alone (like what I've mentioned earlier) and when I pray. There's just this thing about me and being alone, I love to be alone except when I go shopping malls to shop for things? HAhaha. Also I feel at peace whenever I pray, is like every single time when I pray, it is like a reminder that there is always someone else that I can look up to even when everything else on earth fails because God is eternal. 10) Have you achieved a reasonable sense of balance in your life between your personal and professional persuits? Hmm. I think RIGHT NOW, my life couldn't be more perfect. Like literally. My life is so smooth now, I feel extremely weird. I think this is the calm before the storm. I don't know what the storm would be but yeah. When it comes to balancing things up to today, I'm not really good at it I guess. But this year was the major difference where I can really balance WAYYYYY better than the past few years. This is really a year of breakthrough for me. But all that I shall leave it to my thankgiving blog post. 11) Do you know how to regulate your emotions, or do your emotions get in the way in your interpersonal relationships? When it comes to regulating emotions, I think I am okay at it. I'm not the best, I do flare up sometimes and I give attitude to people. But then again, I don't really do it unless I know that the person is able to handle what I'm about to give them, the not-so-nice jm. But most of the time my emotions are not a problem. Usually I get my emotions back into place by sleeping. I don't know why, whenever I'm having a bad day or something horrible happens, after a good night sleep, everything seems better the next day. At least if I am not able to sleep, some time-out to listen to my music will definitely help me. 12) If you had unlimited time and resource, what would you choose to do? Let's see, if I have unlimited time I would learn new things, even those that are not so interesting to me. I would try everything at least once. Those that requires time to pick up the skill, I would do it too. If I have unlimited TIME and RESOURCES, I would definitely firstly travel the world. And secondly, I would love to educate everyone in this world. Education is only but the most basic thing that anyone should receive. With education, many third world countries would not remain in that group. I would also stop the cycle where the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer. Well, all this is IF i have the resources. 13) Do you often compare yourself to others? Being a girl, yes. I do. Sometimes I get really inferior while doing it and other times when I do it, I don't really care even if I'm 'at the bottom' compared to other people. In my mind, I compare many things. My school grades, finances, family status, clothing, abilities... you name it, I've thought about it before. (I over-think eh?) Comparing isn't a bad thing actually, if you take the comparison positively. I mean, it is good to compare if let's say I know that I'm not doing as well as my peers, so I need to buck up. In this case I'm taking the comparison as a challenge for me to do better. But more often than not, when people compare and they know that they are not doing so well, they would be filled with self-doubt, disappointment, or feel like they are a failure. Therefore sometimes I think is better to stay in the 'safe zone' and not to compare too much although some competition never hurts. 14) What do you want more of in your relationships? What do you want less of? In my relationships with others, I want more of trust and openness. Maybe it is me or something, but I tend to NOT trust people easily. Although I may seem like I share a lot with people and it seems like I trust them a lot, I actually don't. Cause too many times when I trust someone, I don't feel the person trust me as much also. Then I feel bad about myself like "what's wrong with me? Why aren't people sharing with me what is happening in their lives? I say everything to you and you listen and now I want to listen to you but you don't want to share with me about yourself.." Which leads me to my second point where I say that I want more openness. I want people to open themselves up to me, it encourages me to know that someone actually trusts me. Just on a side note, these two points are things that are improving in the second half of this year which I'm actually very happy about. Oh, also I think I want more meet-ups in a relationship with other people and not just always whatsapp-ing or sms-ing the person. I'm not a phone call person so yeah. There's always something magical about meeting up with someone personally. It adds the personal touch in everything that you do. Hmm. I think I want less comparison in my relationships. Like what I've mentioned above, most comparison don't have a nice ending. So I hope that I'll stop comparing myself to other people. 15) How would you describe your favourite coworker? How would you describe your least favourite coworker? How are these individuals different/. How are they like or not like you? I think everyone's favourite someone are people who THINK and ACT like them. But I think that my favourite co-worker would be someone that is willing to help, to go crazy with me and do things out of the norm and at the same time be able to bring me back when I start to get excited about too big and unachieveable plans. That person would probably be someone that is positive-thinking and knows to have fun even while doing work. My least favourite co-worker would be someone who pushes blame to other people, make other people do their things and backstab people. I don't like gossipers too. Like what I've said above I think that my favourite co-worker would probably have a similar personality as me because birds of the same feather flock together. 16) What legacy do you want to pass on? I want to pass on the legacy of being fearless, and just be bold. Never let what other people say about you pull you down from what you want to achieve and what you want to do. If there's a will there will be a way. I think especially for children, I want to build in them the thing about trying out new things fearlessly. Too many times, teachers and parents are controlling them like "no, this is too dangerous..." blah blah blah. I think people need to learn to take risk. When you take risks, you never know if you will make a difference to this world. As young as anyone may be, or as old as anyone may be, you are never too early or too late to make a difference to the people around you. Don't have to worry about being awkward, most things start out awkward but things will be better in time to come! Be bold, be brave. ------------------------------------------------- That's the end of my super lenghty post. I had some good time thinking and reflecting while typing these. I think that whoever that is reading this should also take some time and think about all these questions and understand more about yourself. I mean, if you don't know who you are, who else will know? xx |